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SaMmY jO's OfFiCiAl WeBsItE
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For the Guys
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For the Top 50 Major League Baseball Players, CLICK HERE.
My boyfriend asked me why women think firemen
are sexy, so I explained the pole theory: Men love women who slide down poles, and women love men who slide down poles.
Subject dropped. ~Terri Guillemets
The 2005 Mustang took "Best of the Year!" To read the msn article, CLICK HERE.
When a man talks
dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute.
~Author Unknown
Men wake up aroused in the
morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want
me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
~Andy Rooney
On the one hand, we'll never
experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.
~Bruce Willis
God gave us all a penis and
a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time.
~Robin Williams
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161 Condom Slogans
1) Cover your stump before you hump 2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker 3) Don't
be silly, protect your Willie 4) When in doubt shroud you spout 5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner 6) You can't
go wrong, if you shield your dong 7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it 8) If you think she's spunky,
cover your monkey 9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter 10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize 11)
She won't get sick if you wrap your dick 12) If you go into heat, package your meat 13) While your undressing Venus,
dress up your penis 14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse 15) Especially in December, gift
wrap your member 16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker 17) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool 18)
The right selection, is to protect your erection 19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil 20) A crank with armor,
will never harm her 21) If you really love her, wear a cover 22) Don't make a mistake, cover your snake 23) Sex
is cleaner with a packaged wiener 24) If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket 25) No glove, no love
26) If you think she'll sigh, cover old one eye 27) Even If she's eager, protect her beaver 28) No one likes a
horses ass, protect yourself at climax 29) Shield her from the hunt until you shoot her in the cunt 30) Avoid a frown,
contain your clown 31) Harness the pygmy man before entering the bearded clam 32) Constrain the little head before
you stick it in the shed 33) Put a condom on your dink before you dart it in her sink 34) The weasel you must surround
before you please her on the ground 35) Cloak the joker before you poke her 36) Encase that torch before you paint
her porch 37) Cape your throbber before you bob her 38) After detection sheath your erection 39) Before you penetrate
hide your magistrate 40) Don't surprise her plug your Geyser 41) Cover that lumber before you pump her 42) Protect
her wrinkle before you sprinkle 43) She won't bristle if you wrap your whistle 44) House your noodle then release
your strudel 45) Put your dog in the pound and make her yelp like a hound 46) Shelter your jerky then nab that turkey
47) Cage that snake then shake and bake 48) Cover your peter it will be much neater 49) Coat that Labrador then
allow him to explore 50) It's always funky to cage your monkey 51) It won't be funny with a coatless dummy 52)
It won't be fun with an unwrapped thumb 53) It's not much money to catch your honey 54) Don't be a fool cover your
tool 55) Hood that match then scratch that thatch 56) Stitch that switch then itch her niche 57) Wrap that tool
to catch the drool 58) It ain't no jibe to protect her hive 59) Contain that sputum before you use him 60) Restrain
your log then plow her bog 61) Glove your pecker before you check her 62) Coat that slimmer before you prime her 63)
Condomize then womanize (or sodomize) 64) Cover old pete then grind her meat 65) Guard your peter before you meet her
66) Check your list before you tryst 67) Wrap your bate before you mate 68) Can your worm before you squirm 69)
Cover your pipe you dumb ass wipe 70) Contain your lizard then tickle her gizzard 71) Bag the mole then do her hole
72) Cuff your carrot before you share it 73) Jail your number then call the plumber 74) Cover your vein then drive
her insane 75) Wrap that pickle then slip her a tickle 76) Protect your dink then fluff her mink 77) Restrain
your lantern then stick it in her cavern 78) Hide ole harry then take her cherry 79) Wrap that spout then bore her
out 80) Conceal your train don't cause her pain 81) Guard your bridge then do her ridge > 82) Shroud your trout
then make her shout 83) To make her squat like a turkey, cover your Jerky 84) Box your blister then poke her in the
whiskers 85) Wrap your spout to catch the trout 86) Plug your funnel then enter the tunnel 87) Cover your steamer
before you ream her 88) Protect that fish then dip it in the dish 89) Contain that bass for a swim in her glass 90)
Be sure to wear it to feed her ferret 91) Clothe the boner before you hone her 92) Got no protection? Can't use your
erection! 93) Cork your pump or you don't hump 94) No unwrapped stags get between my legs 95) Dress that erection
to make a deflection 96) Contain that shanker before you spank her 97) Cap that seeder before you breed her 98)
Stop the stream before you cream 99) Secure that ladder then drain your bladder 100) Protect your screw to catch that
glue 101) Package your meat for a real neat treat 102) Holster your gun then shootings more fun 103) Canvas that
trailer before you nail her 104) Garage the tractor then attack her 105) Net that grass hopper before you pop her 106)
Sock that wanger before you bang her 107) Pen that rooster, she'll be much looser 108) Trim your hardwood then do her
real good 109) Garnish your oak then give her a poke 110) Pouch your associate then go fornicate 111) Smother your
affiliate before you ejaculate 112) Confine your fascinate before it regurgitates 113) Catch that goat before it bloats
114) Ensnare that barbarian then do her abdomen 115) Restrain your hammer then wam bam her 116) Prune that stalk
then make her squawk 117) Wrap that rod then please her bod 118) Sheath that knife she ain't your wife 119) House
that bottle then mash her throttle 120) Sash that hash then thrash that gash 121) Cover your diddle then fiddle her
middle 122) Can your knob then throb her swab 123) Contain old Doug then clean her rug 124) Cover your limb before
you swim 125) Retain your bailer then impail her 126) Rope your dope then make some soap 127) Net your salamander
then make salad in her 128) Cap your flapper then sniff her snapper 129) Wrap that Steed then trample her weeds 130)
Hat that chef then scramble her cleft 131) Cover your stone before you bone 132) House your hose then curl her toes
133) Saddle your penis then straddle her mean ass 134) Blanket your twitch then hump that bitch 135) Shield your
rocks then pond her box 136) Cover old sly then do her dry 137) Wrap your rail then fill her pail 138) Glove your
chimney before you come in me 139) If your nude tube your dude 140) Cloak your hitter then go split her 141) Wrap
your nipper before you dip her 142) Can your spam then bam that mam 143) Corral your ram then slice her ham 144)
Sheath your sliver then jab her liver 145) Twist your wick then stick that prick 146) Cover old Bart then dart her
tart 147) Shed old spot then do her slot 148) Drawer your pip then split her lips 149) Contain that leach then
mash her peach 150) Bag your elm then take the helm 151) Constrain your gem to catch the flem 152) Catch that
head cheese or I won't spread these 153) Constrain that agate you ain't no faggot 154) Survey your land then plant
her stand 155) Before you drive her protect that diver 156) Sack that slimy smelt then tan her beaver pelt 157)
Wrap that stiffer then let him sniff her 158) Cover you post then slice her roast 159) Blanket old juicy then plug
old loosey 160) Balloon your baboon the moon tune her poon 161) Contain that viper before you pipe her
Why Girls Can't Fix Cars. |
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Ok. Why SOME girls can't. Most just don't wanna. |

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